...It's been a while.

Okay world so I think it's time I come out with something. To some this should make sense, others who don't know me, well I don't know. Here we go.

So on February 6, 2012 my entire world got flipped upside down. I've done counseling and all sorts of help, but nothing has seemed to help so far. I see faces in the dark, movement, shapes that look like people. I no longer actually sleep. It's exhausting all the time, you could only imagiane. Sleeping pills wake me up, pills to wake me will wake me even more, that's no use. I'm terrified of people now, as much as I hate to admit it, I haven't actually let anyone get too close to me. I'm moody and angry a lot and I know it but can't seem to get control of it. I make excuses all the time. I hide from social interactions in fear of meeting people. Point of all this and so much more? I'm tired of it. I want more.

I miss smiling for no reason, being a happy young woman. I miss being able to trust and love people just for them being people. I miss people. I miss the world. And as scary as it will be, and long as it might take, I'm going to try to move forward in life and push through my wall of fears and anxieties I've built.