What to do[[NOW]]

Okay here is the break down of my life these days:

-No job; everyone tells me I don't qualify... Really now? I don't qualify in areas where I have a friggin' degree? That's cool.

-No money because of no job; cannot drive to SLC for church. Bummer, I just want to go.

-Heart broken; story of my life, this one hurts worse than before, hurts more each day

-Trying to help an old high school lover get back into the church; he likes to tell me I am an angel and perfect, he knows there is no chance of getting me back o.O

-Tired ALL the time; blood tests show I am healthy as a horse, okay what could it be?

Well that is just a few happy moments of my life these days. There is a lot more that is not going public of course. But the main bulk is, I am feeling REALLY down lately that no one will hire me. Makes me wonder: am I not good enough? Is there something that employers are doing to not hire people anymore? Can I please just work something other than a call center or fast food? I would love a normal Monday-Friday job 8-5, but will take anything that will pay the bills and not kill me. Yikes. I just need someone to cuddle me and hold me 'cause all I have is a TV and space heater. Woot.

Let me write to you

Let me write to you all the stars of the sky, ill sing them through the day. Anytime you want to see them, they'll be there. Baby my love is always there, come day or night I keep busy to not remind myself that I am not yours.  Reminding myself every day to take a breath, move forward. One day at a time, I try erasing a star from this sky. Eternally night for me as you sit in the day light now days. Forget me not, there will always be stars shining in the distance. You may not see them but I do. I do. I do love you. Dont forget what we had. Dont let my galaxy fade to grey. I need to hold to something so bright until I can stand on my own. Help me keep stars up. I cannot hold it all on my own. Ill sing till I can no longer make words. Ill hold the sky as high as I can. I'm sorry if it gets darker sometimes. Its all a jorney. Why can't you take it with me.

Well that's myy thoughts.  Idk how coherent they are.  Just started writing. Forming whatever came to mind. Maybe I should sleep now... it is 3:44am. C: